“Sometimes, I find some really interesting things on the net, like this one. Thanks, Tim Bryce! (Of course, there are the occasional shakes of the head, too.) I had a similar situation in a hospital waiting room the other night; I changed the channel on the TV — I was the only person watching, at after 1am — and was spoken to by the hired guard, because only a nurse ‘can do that’, to which I replied, ‘No, I can too, see!’. Stone face back at me…..”

A C.P. of Canberra, ACT, Australia wrote…

“I was in the Eye Clinic at Woden Hospital the other day. Full waiting room, and on came a kiddy program. When I got up and changed the channel everyone looked terrified, as if I had done something wrong!”

A B.H. of Boulder, Colorado wrote…

“The story about getting change from a clerk where the computer has failed is, unfortunately, all too common anymore. After all, it’s MATH Tim, and we all know math is HARD so a lot of kids shut it down in class and figure they only have to get a passing grade to get out. And, making change is APPLIED math, not theoretical … so some of the kids doing quite well in math CLASS never learn how to use it in every day life. Learning an ‘elegant’ proof of some common (or obscure) math concept and being able to spit it back verbatim to the instructor is completely different from being able to figure out change at a cash register. Even sadder? The kids at the cash register probably didn’t even KNOW the price of the individual menu items which are usually placed on the board with the items, and the customer would probably have to either figure it out for themselves or at least remind the kid that the prices were on the board for them to see.

The story about KFC not having plain chicken wings on the menu is reflective of the customer DEMAND they try to meet in order to keep customers coming back. If no one (well, except for you) wants plain wings, the odds are that it won’t be on the menu. I know a few years ago, livers and gizzards disappeared from their menu (on corporate policy) because the demand wasn’t great enough nationwide. That manager could easily have gone to the regular (original) menu pieces waiting to be selected for serving and picked over them and given you what you wanted. Oh, wait a minute, my late father-in-law (used to work in a butcher shop as a kid) once told me KFC must use some pretty damned strange chickens – the pieces he got in a bucket didn’t resemble ANY chicken he’d ever cut up. (That’s because basically they take a whole fryer, put it under a big cutting jig that is divided roughly into 6 parts. It comes down, and whatever pieces of chicken come out, come out. It means you’ll get a breast with part of the back on it, no such thing as a ‘pully-bone’ or ‘wish-bone’ and so on. So even if the manager had gone over and picked out 6 ‘wings’ for you, they might or might not have LOOKED LIKE wings you expected. (If you really only wanted some wings, go to your local Safeway, Albertson’s, King Soopers or whatever main grocery chain you have. Chances are, they have plain wings in their deli counter, and probably cheaper than KFC would sell them. And, you can probably find them hot OR cold there).

But, in line with your frustration and wonder, the gent who was my mentor once told me about a situation with ARBY’s that will blow you away. He and a few of his friends had diabetes. They were all in a van going to a meeting and needed to stop for some food to make sure their blood sugar didn’t get out of control. So, they stopped at a drive-in window to order 4 diet cokes and 4 roast beef sandwiches. Sounds straight-forward, eh? Well, the kid on the other end apologizes and says ‘I’m sorry sir, we’re out of roast beef.’ This, of course, takes the group by surprise. My friend goes back over the intercom and says ‘Uh, that kind of caught us off-guard. Give us a minute, OK?’ After a brief wait, they decide they will get 4 ham sandwiches instead. So, they try to order the ham sandwiches and get the ‘I’m sorry sir, we’re out of ham, too’ response. They eventually get 4 turkey sandwiches and go on their way. He and I wondered how much longer a store manager for Arby’s would keep his/her job if they ran out of roast beef (let alone ham). Eventually, I found that stopping at Arby’s for anything actually took MUCH more time to get your order than any other ‘fast’ food chain out there. Subsequently, although I kind of liked their roast beef sandwiches, I simply stopped going to Arby’s out of frustration at the time to get your order. If I wanted a sit-down dinner/lunch, I would go there and sit down. When you’re in a hurry, you want it now.

HOWEVER, now I am now retired, I find that I don’t particularly want to have ‘fast food’ any more, because I have sufficient time to plan around my dietary needs at home.”

A J.R. of Flint, Michigan wrote…

I have to tell you that I’m stealing your quote at the bottom of your article: ‘If the mind really is the finest computer, then there are a lot of people out there who need to be rebooted.’ – Bryce’s Law

TIM’S REPLY: Glad you enjoyed it. For a complete list of ‘Bryce’s Laws’, see:
http://www.phmainstreet.com/mba/pride/laws.htm

A L.C. of Caen, Normandy, France wrote…

“And you do not even mention the quality of the food!” Good posting.”

A J.S. of Arizona wrote…

“I often get that statue look if giving some change to round up what I should get back, say 17 cents in your example, so I will get all paper money back instead of more coin in my pocket.”

A J.S. of Skidway Lake, Michigan wrote…

“This makes me want to wail and gnash my teeth. I knew that spelling and grammar had been downgraded or eliminated in public schools, but math, too? Are we raising a generation of button pushing robots who cannot count or spell? When you’re in a fast food place, always get in the line with the senior citizen at the counter. They can count and are polite. This sounds like profiling, but if you want good service and you’re paying the bill, it’s the way to go.

I feel your pain, Tim. I’m about to fax copies of some THIRD NOTICE bills, still unpaid, to my car insurance company from the accident last September. Who is responsible for hiring these employees and don’t you wonder about the ones who were not smart enough to be hired?”