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MY RECENT TRIP TO MARS

Posted by Tim Bryce on January 10, 2014

BRYCE ON LIFE

- My preliminary notes on the red planet.

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

I want to tell you about my recent trip to Mars. Actually, this is just my initial sketch as I hope to write much more in the coming weeks.

It was a long trip, but I finally arrived home safely. Even though it was a rather cold and desolate place, Mars has a stark beauty all its own and I actually felt quite at home. The sunrises and sunsets were certainly beautiful though. Surprisingly, there were a lot of inhabitants there and I was able to identify many of the species:

Control Freekus – these were small people who smelled of cabbage and directed the work of others. Back home we call them “micromanagers” or “helicopter parents” and I suspect this species must be somehow related as they were just as obnoxious. No decision is made without the Control Freekus’ stamp of approval and if anything goes wrong, the Freekus’ has the uncanny ability to blame others.

Automobilus Drivius Crazius – there weren’t too many vehicles there, mostly roving robots who seemed to move at a snail’s pace. Despite my best efforts, I had trouble avoiding them as they all seemed to be texting and talking on cell phones (although I’m not too sure who they were talking to, and neither did they). They were incredibly irritating as I couldn’t seem to avoid them.

Politicius Maximus Ignoramius – they appeared to have a rudimentary government system in place. The politicians seemed to be hyperactive. They run around a lot, snapping up photo opportunities, and spinning their political diatribe to anyone within earshot. It seemed they would promise the inhabitants anything, but offered no means to pay for it. Very strange. I got the odd feeling they were past masters at rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Homo Sappian Assholeus – which is a term I invented to refer to the inhabitants. Interestingly, half were quite productive, worked hard, and enjoyed life, while the other half were shiftless, lazy and wouldn’t assume responsibility for their actions. It seems the Politicius Maximus Ignoramius concentrated their attention on this latter segment of society as they promised them a litany of entitlements. However, the workers segment appeared to be growing tired of supporting the other half.

I’m sorry I can’t give you more just yet, but these are my initial observations. I took lots of notes while I was there which I am still sifting through. I hope to write something more meaningful soon. Stay tuned.

Yes, I felt quite at home on Mars.

Or was it the District of Columbia?

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  MY RECENT TRIP TO MARS – My preliminary notes on the red planet.

LAST TIME:  WHAT’S IN A JOB TITLE? – Evidently a lot.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), KGAB-AM 650 “The Morning Zone” with host Dave Chaffin (weekdays, 6:00-10:00am Mountain), and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

8 Responses to “MY RECENT TRIP TO MARS”

  1. Georgene Leonard said

    THIS IS A GREAT ONE!!!!!!!

    Georgene Leonard
    Oldsmar, Fl

  2. Tim Bryce said

    A J.W. of Clearwater, Florida wrote…

    “I have used and heard the term assholious in the past. Obviously travel to Mars has already happened. As a matter of fact in my past, when recovering from a serious hangover, I knew I had visited the Red Planet.
    Have a great day!:

  3. Tim Bryce said

    An A.S. of Italy writes…

    ” I enjoyed reading your metaphoric story and very probably you are right if you compare the actual US situation to that one of some decades ago, but, believe me, here in Italy, it is much worse.”

  4. […] MY RECENT TRIP TO MARS […]

  5. Tim Bryce said

    A D.F. of Los Angeles, California wrote…

    “The Museum of Natural History had a recreated trip to Mars in the Planetarium. There is one point where they make you feel as if the ship you’re on actually touches down on the planet and it is quite a stunning sight as you gaze around at the surface of Mars. They recreate this by using actual photos taken from the surface of Mars.

    I’ve also been to D.C. and Tim, well I’m sorry it sounds like that’s where your bus stopped.”

  6. […] TIME:  MY RECENT TRIP TO MARS – My preliminary notes on the red […]

  7. Georgene Leonard said

    THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!! I NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT NOW.THANKS.

    Georgene Leonard, CPCU, AAI, AIC, CPIW Account Administrator

    Stahl & Associates Insurance, Inc. 3939 Tampa Road, Oldsmar, Fl 34677 Phone: 813.818.5327 Fax: 727.789.2823

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