Software for the finest computer – The Mind

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Posted by Tim Bryce on August 3, 2012


– You can save a lot of paper if you just take my word for it.

To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

Isn’t it amazing the amount of paperwork required just to live on this planet? There are a variety of certificates you need, such as birth, wedding, and occupational. Even after you pass away, the paper mill continues to churn out death certificates on your behalf. Then there are bank statements, bills, membership information and notices from all of the institutions you belong to. Let’s not forget deeds, mortgages, warranties, titles, contracts, agreements, and permits for everything from fishing and hunting to operating automobiles and machinery, not to mention firearms if you are so inclined. My insurance and medical paperwork alone probably represents a small Redwood. Then there are, of course, the countless applications you must complete for a variety of purposes.

If you go to a Doctor’s office or apply for some form of insurance, you have to face a series of questions, such as:

* Have you ever had the following diseases?
* Does your family have a history of this or that?
* Are you currently on any medication for this or that?
* Have you ever had a social disease?

The list is actually more extensive than this, but you get the idea. I usually begin by telling the person, “Look this is really not necessary. I’m normal.” Naturally, they do not take my word for it and proceed to grill me through the battery of questions, to which I reply, “No, No, No, No, No…”

“Oh, you really are JUST normal aren’t you? We really don’t get too many like you.”

“Just normal?” I asked myself. What do they mean by that? Inevitably, I run into the same type of scenario when I talk with my accountant about my income tax, to which he barrages me with another line of questioning, such as:

* Do you own or rent your house?
* Do you own any real estate in Timbuktu?
* Do you have any major medical expenses?
* Do you do this or that?

Again, I reply, “No, No, No, No, No…”

“Oh, you really are JUST normal aren’t you? I’ve never met one like you.”

This can make you feel somewhat paranoid if you take it the wrong way.

When you apply for a loan, the mortgage people ask you enough questions to make “War and Peace” seem like “CliffsNotes”:

* Are you married?
* Have you ever been divorced?
* Do you have any outstanding debt?
* Do you have any dependants?
* How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Again, I reply, “No, No, No, No, No…, ah, 1557?”

“Oh, you really are JUST normal aren’t you? Hmm, interesting.”

It’s easy to understand why I get annoyed with such interrogations. I don’t think Casey Anthony or George Zimmerman had to answer such a battery of questions. We could save considerable time for all parties involved if they just took my word that I was “normal.” Instead, it seems like a witch hunt to prove that I am somehow “abnormal” thereby justifying the reams of paper they expend to document me.

Even if you don’t write a single letter or postcard in your lifetime, the amount of paperwork you incur is overwhelming, not to mention unnecessary. So, instead of wasting reams of paper let’s begin by simply talking on the level. As for me, I’m “just normal,” if that means anything to you.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at

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Copyright © 2012 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

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3 Responses to “I’M JUST NORMAL…REALLY”

  1. Jenn said

    *chuckles* When my oldest went to kindergarten, the sentimental Mom in my kept all of his paperwork sent home for the entire school year. It filled an entire 18 gallon rubber tote, minus 3 art projects that did not fit. Now I’m talking, filled to the top and pushing the lid down, kind of filled tub. Honestly when I started the year, I figured it would take me until he graduated to fill that tub. Lesson learned–recycle the paper…I don’t have enough space for 13 years of tubs x 5 kids!! YIKES!! LOLOL!!

    And really, normal is relative. Defining it would make me a bit scared 🙂

    Cheers, Jenn.


  2. Tim Bryce said

    An O.B. of Macon, Georgia wrote…

    “Ah, to be normal is my utmost dream. My wife says I am anything but normal. First of all I am “south-pawed”, (“left handed “if you ain’t from the south) I eat,liven and breathe like normal but that is where it stops. I don’t think like most people, I don’t act like most people and I don’t talk like most people. Wednesday August 1st we celebrated our 50 th wedding anniversary and today that is not even normal. But that is ok. I like being me. I have a set of morals that I live by, I believe in helping anywhere I can, I love my wife. I have two children of which I am proud,,In a way they followed in their old man’s footsteps both of them now doing aircraft work, And they believe in helping other folks too. That ain’t normal either..but your are correct about the amount of paper work we have to have, But I would rather have the mountain of paper work than to have a chip implanted under my skim That give government access to me any time they want.
    Still we need to talk face to face and restore our personal memories and tell stories and make up songs that teach us history and pass on traditional values. Just like they used to do, when they had plenty of trees from which to make paper.”


  3. Tim Bryce said

    A J.S. of Skidway Lake, Michigan wrote…

    “I had to fill out insurance paperwork after we had a head-on collision. The questions included such pertinent issues as

    “Was the pavement asphalt or concrete?” Like I would notice or know the difference?
    and “How many firefighters were on the scene?” Lots

    “Of the firefighters on scene, how many were lieutenants, probationary employees…Etc.,” They think I interviewed each one for name, rank and badge number??

    It’s my belief that a lot of this paperwork is generated for the sole purpose of wasting time and delaying payment.”


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