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FINDING A MATE

Posted by Tim Bryce on November 9, 2012

BRYCE ON LIFE

– Dating and matchmaking as another casualty of technology.

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

I’ve been married to the same lovely lady for over 30 years now and if something were to happen to us, I don’t think I would ever re-marry. Been there, done that. Not everyone shares my view though and desperately needs to be attached to someone. My wife and I originally met in high school, one of about five couples from our class who married their sweetheart. Others found their mate in college, others at work, or in the locale where they lived. During the 1970’s, it was common to cruise the discos in search of love or whatever. In a way, it was reminiscent of SNL’s The Festrunk Brothers (Czech Brothers) routine. There certainly was a lot of polyester back then. Disco though had a short life, thank God, and the bar scene was the predominant means to meet the opposite sex. This lifestyle could be rather expensive and lead to alcoholism and other problems, but it was what it was.

Today it’s much different. People rarely socialize in group settings, dancing has diminished greatly, and people are stuck staring at their computer screens or texting on their smart phones. The bar scene is still active but not like it once was. For years, there were “Personal” columns in the newspapers for lonely people to find others. In order to save a nickle or two, a shorthand was used in the personals to describe people and their interests, such as: SWM, DWF, BMF, etc. The “personals” are still around of course, but the predominant means now is to seek companionship through social media on the Internet. Instead of writing and waiting for personals to appear in print, Internet dating services are the venue du jour. This is another example of how we are sacrificing socialization for speed and efficiency. People seem to prefer the Internet for their matchmaking as they can read the background and qualifications of a person, and see their photo. It also provides some pretty impressive sorting features in order to assemble a list of potential candidates.

If you are on the dating scene, you know there is now an extensive list of dating sites available to you. The big guns seem to be:

Match.com

eHarmony

Perfect Match

Plenty of Fish

Interestingly, newer sites have been introduced based on your religious inclination, for example:

Christian Mingle

JDate – Jewish singles

Single Muslims

Even ethnic dating sites are now available:

Black Singles

Latino Singles

Asian Singles

And there is one tailored to seniors as well:

Senior People Meet

There are so many dating sites now, you can find one for just about any religion, ethnic background, or city and state. However, I struck out when I searched for Lithuanian singles who are with the Salvation Army. I guess there are still limitations.

I have met subscribers to these on-line dating services who tell me these venues are “snake pits” (their words) where people want to live in Fantasy Land. There seems to be a lot of people who want to travel to Europe, walk on the beach, drive around in luxury cars, eat at fine restaurants, or sip wine on the back of a yacht. They want someone else to pay for it of course. Unfortunately, there’s no mention of fiscal responsibility.

Then there is “Speed Dating,” a relatively new concept where men and women circulate in an organized manner whereby they are given a few scant minutes to meet and quickly determine if they find someone suitable for dating. I guess this was inevitable for a technology induced go-go world. We used to do something similar when we went dancing years ago. It wasn’t quite as structured as “Speed Dating,” but I think it was a lot more fun.

In bygone times, if you were single, your choices were either the bar scene, neighborhood parties, church groups, work, or you would have a friend or relative on the lookout for a suitable match for you. I’m not saying this worked any better than today, but I suspect it was more interesting. Today there are professional matchmakers who earn a rather handsome amount of money by teaming people up.

Despite all of the technological advancements we have made, dating and matchmaking is still a rough sport. People of both sexes agonize on finding the right man or woman. Even with these slick Internet based dating services, it remains difficult to find a suitable match. Rarely does the person live up to their photo or description on the dating site. What I find particularly comical about all this though is after a couple has finally secured a date, they go to a restaurant, sit down, order their drinks and meal, then spend the rest of the evening checking their text messages.

God how I miss the 20th century.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2012 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

 

NEXT UP:  DETECTING SYSTEM DEFICIENCIES – It’s actually not too difficult to spot weaknesses in your systems.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, (12:30-3:00pm).

Also look for Tim’s postings in the Palm Harbor Patch, The Gentlemen’s Association, and throughout the Internet.

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6 Responses to “FINDING A MATE”

  1. strazz@kleinandheuchan.com said

    Hahahahaha every bit true
    Sherri
    Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

    Like

  2. Tim Bryce said

    An H.D. of Michigan wrote…

    “Responding to your talk today about online dating wanting to give you my two cents. On-line dating is a very successful, viable venue to meet people and unless you try it, you do not have the full grasp of its concept. It opens doors to meeting a tremendous variety of people who can become part of your life ending up as a dear friend because it is no different in the real world vs. cyberworld – it either works or it doesn’t – or can end up being someone you fall in love with and still going strong for over two and a half years. I’ve been single for over a decade and have to say met the nicest people online with not sure a great result offline. No difference in not really knowing about the person whose picture you’re looking at, or the individual who just walked up and said hello. I highly recommend online dating – especially after 50 – it’s an awesome and rewarding experience!”

    Like

  3. Tim Bryce said

    A D.A. of Palm Harbor, Florida wrote…

    “You have to approach it with a positive, “whatever” happens attitude. You learn to weed out the rejects and actually faster than in the real world because if they are grammatically inept, my experience was they were inept all the way around.

    Tried a variety for the fun of it with other friends and my experience is Match.com is best with honesty being more prevalent (like the guy next to you at a bar or standing in line isn’t trying to feed you ca-ca 90% of the time?!).

    If one is ready to find The One – eHarmony.com – they are SERIOUS on there – whew! Almost obsessively but many success stories as a result.

    Have several friends who ended up marrying their cybermate and this one still very much loves hers.

    I referred to it as “human catalog shopping” and the plus side was you never had to hassle with shipping the “Return” item, when it didn’t fit.” 🙂

    Like

  4. Sometimes meeting the one you love is more subtle than flat out dating services. Sometimes you can just be going about your life chatting with distant, never-to-meet friends on social networking sites when they appear and you finally find the person you have been looking for. It worked for me.

    Like

  5. Tim Bryce said

    A J.S. of Skidway Lake, Michigan wrote…

    “This trend is fascinating to me. Dating is supposed to be fun, at least it used to be. I spent most of my 20’s meeting princes who turned out to be toads, but I found my soul mate. I think speed dating would have worked for us, because there was a powerful connection between us from the moment we met.

    My parents met at a 20 up club, just after WWII. A very savvy priest started the club so that returning servicemen could find nice, Catholic girls to marry. The club offered dances, hayrides, talent shows, concerts, ski trips and more. It worked so well that within 5 years, the club had married itself out of business, literally. Many of those couples stayed friends for life. Their kids were some of my first friends.

    I know a young couple who met through an online dating service and they are incredibly well-matched. They’ve been happily married for four years and are devoted to each other. They missed the princes, toads, hayrides, and dances, but I’m convinced their marriage has a better chance than most.
    It will be interesting to see how dating and marriage trends develop over the coming years. “

    Like

  6. Tim Bryce said

    A K.E. of Sacramento, California wrote…

    “I had begun dating again a few months ago. I went on about six dates until I met someone I connected with. We have gone on about 20 dates since. We are having a blast. I don’t know where it will go, or how it will turn out, but for nor it is good. We met on Match.com.”

    Like

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