THE BRYCE IS RIGHT!

Software for the finest computer – the Mind

  • Tim’s YouTube Channel

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 2,087 other followers


  • "BRYCE's UNCOMMON SENSE SERIES"
    4 New Printed Books & eBooks from Tim on:
    Change/Technology, Management, Politics, and the American Scene
    Click HERE.

  • Categories

  • Fan Page

  • Since 1971:
    "Software for the finest computer - The Mind"

    Follow me on Twitter: @timbryce

    hit counter

     

  • Subscribe

PARENTAL VISIONS OF GRANDEUR

Posted by Tim Bryce on January 18, 2013

BRYCE ON PARENTING

– Just who are you trying to impress anyway? Certainly not me.

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

Naturally, we all love our children, but it has always bothered me how parents want to impress you with how much better their kids are than your own. I remember years ago hearing a friend brag to me, “Well, our little girl has been accepted into Montessori school.” I would counter by saying, “Gee, I didn’t know she was having a problem.” I don’t think he saw the humor in this.

Back when I was coaching Little League, I ran into many parents who saw their kid as the next Babe Ruth and made sure I knew about it. One by one, they all eventually dropped out of baseball in favor of pursuing other interests or simply because they knew they couldn’t excel in it any longer. This was fine with me as it meant I didn’t have to listen to the parents’ malarkey anymore.

I find it interesting how parents try to live vicariously through their offspring. I guess they feel they blew it in life and are now getting a second chance through their children. This puts a lot of pressure on the kids to satisfy their parents and not enjoy the moment. Kids have a tough enough time with school and learning how to socialize; the last thing they need is an overbearing parent pushing them too hard. Yes, we want parents to be an active part of their children’s lives, but they shouldn’t try to live their lives through them. Sometimes, kids just need to be kids. In Little League, as well as youth soccer and football, it’s now quite common to have parents sign a code of conduct requiring them not to be obnoxious at sporting events. I never dreamt we would ever need such a contract, but with some parents trying to live through their kids, I guess I’m really not surprised.

I’m now a little older and have seen the children grow into adulthood. I find it amusing that the kids who were touted as geniuses by their parents are now working at convenience marts, and the star athletes now work on fishing boats. I guess they either peaked too early or their parents burned them out.

Those parents suffering from visions of grandeur need a reality check. There is certainly nothing wrong with a kid who shows signs of intelligence or possesses a talent, but there is a difference between nurturing their abilities and pushing them too hard. I guess some parents need to be reminded whose life it is, their children’s or their own? Whichever it is, please keep it to yourself as nobody else really cares.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2013 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.


NEXT UP: 
OFFICE TEMPERATURE – Who controls the thermostat in your office?


Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, (12:30-3:00pm).

Also look for Tim’s postings in the Palm Harbor Patch, The Gentlemen’s Association, and throughout the Internet.

Advertisements

5 Responses to “PARENTAL VISIONS OF GRANDEUR”

  1. Tim Bryce said

    An S.G. of Chicago, Illinois wrote…

    “To say nothing of how that behavior can turn their darlings into entitled snots. “

    Like

  2. Tim Bryce said

    An L.M. of Illinois wrote…

    “I get a bang with those overweight plumper’s who have their toddlers strut and pose in “Beauty Pageants.”

    Like

  3. Tim Bryce said

    A J.S. of Skidway Lake, Michigan wrote…

    “I have seen pushy parents at sporting events from T-ball on up. They don’t even realize how foolish they look. I think their kids know, though, and so does everyone else.

    As a parent, I tried to encourage my kids to explore their interests, not mine. If an activity was reasonably safe, legal and we could scrape up the fees, they tried it out – softball, bowling, soccer, skiing and much more. It was their choice and it was okay to have fun without being a star.

    I hear you on the long range outcomes, Tim. In our neighborhood, one mother used to brag that she and her husband had chosen to “have one quality child”, implying that the rest of us had opted for 2 – 8 mediocre kids. You guessed it. The “quality child” is serving prison time and our normal kids have graduated from college and are pursuing rewarding careers.

    To me, being a parent means knowing when to express concern/interest and when to butt out, especially as the kids become adults. Encouragement is far better than praise. Expressing confidence in a child’s ability to manage a given situation is so much better than criticism and micromanagement.”

    Like

  4. Tim Bryce said

    A B.S. of North Carolina wrote…

    “I know of a girl that spent her entire childhood being the type of ball player her Father demanded her to be. He was her coach and it’s unreal how mean he was to that child. He was constantly screaming at her and putting her down. The last thing I heard, she said she hated her dad,”

    Like

  5. Tim Bryce said

    A U.V. of Largo, Florida wrote…

    “We ran into problems like that when I was a Den Mother and Frank helped with the troop’s baseball team. The worst offenders were the fathers who “doctored” their son’s cars for the Pinewood Derby. Some of those cars looked like they were made by Mattel instead of a kid. I loved it when a scout won the derby with a real hand made car because there was no father in the house and the car looked like he did it.”

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: