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Archive for May, 2014

WHEN A TRUST IS BROKEN

Posted by Tim Bryce on May 5, 2014

BRYCE ON SOCIETY

– What should you do? Forgive or reciprocate?

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

There is perhaps nothing more demoralizing to the human spirit than discovering a broken trust. What makes this particularly painful is when a person believes another has his/her best interests in mind and will defend them. This can be between two friends, business associates, school, in sports, in politics, or even within families. Inevitably one or both parties are surprised, thereby creating resentment and a rift between people inevitably ensues. If a lie is discovered, a promise broken, cheating, not being treated fairly, playing politics, an insult, or whatever, it can do irreparable harm. You may forgive, but you will never forget and it is unlikely you will ever treat that person the same.

We deal with such indiscretions in our own unique way, some through anger, some through humor, some through reciprocal action, or some simply ignore it. Frankly, I do not understand the latter alternative. I realize some people may violate a trust simply to get nothing more than a reaction from a person, which is perhaps the worst reason for violating a trust. However, the violation is plain and simply an insult to your honor and should be dealt with accordingly.

“Don’t get mad, get even.” I am not suggesting you stoop to the level of the person committing the indiscretion, but to simply return the favor more effectively than your antagonist. One way is to publicize the foul thereby discrediting the other person. Another is to report the person’s actions to the proper authorities, possibly even taking it to court. Aside from committing a similar foul to the other party, which I do not necessarily recommend, another option is to simply withdraw from the institution and leave the offender to his own devices. Understand this, by breaking the trust, the offender has already exhibited his feelings towards you. Forgive if you want, but the other person should instigate the healing process. Obviously, some things can never be forgiven.

I had a friend from Brazil who moved to the United States and was surprised by our dependency on lawyers to solve numerous petty offenses. When I asked him how he would handle someone who had cheated him, he replied he would simply throw a brick through his company’s front window. He rationalized it would probably cost the company more to replace the window as opposed to paying him back. I’m not sure I would agree with his approach but I certainly can understand his sentiments.

Whatever approach you use, first and foremost have confidence in yourself. Stand your ground and do not reduce yourself to the other person’s level. Some people go into a state of shock when the indiscretion initially occurs. They do not necessarily think clearly. Just simply take note of the facts involved with the situation, such as the time, date, place it occurred, and the people involved. Think through the problem, and devise a suitable solution. Regardless if it is forgiveness or retribution, consider the ramifications before deciding on a course of action.

This reminds me of the animosity between George Bernard Shaw, the famous playwright, and Winston Churchill. The two hated each other. Just prior to the opening of one of Shaw’s plays, he sent an insulting note to Churchill, “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.”

Churchill had the last laugh though by responding to Shaw, “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.”

Samuel Clemons (Mark Twain) came up with an interesting approach for clearing out the riff-raft in his life; he sent an anonymous telegram to a dozen of his friends saying, “flee at once – all is discovered.” They all left town immediately.

When someone breaks the trust, be sure to return the favor and do it with a little class.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  DRAWING THE LINES – What the Nevada showdown teaches us about the future.

LAST TIME:  CELEBRATING THE MONTH OF MAY  – One of my favorite months of the year.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

Posted in Social Issues | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

CELEBRATING THE MONTH OF MAY

Posted by Tim Bryce on May 2, 2014

BRYCE ON SOCIETY

– One of my favorite months of the year.

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

The month of May is one of my favorite months of the year (October being the other). The weather is normally ideal, winter is behind us, the snow birds have returned home, and we have some excellent holidays to observe. For example:

KENTUCKY DERBY – The first Saturday of the month represents the “run for the roses,” the first leg of the Triple Crown in horse racing. The Derby has always been a favorite of mine, having watched it since I was a kid, and having attended it when I was in college and was fortunate to have seen the great Secretariat. By the way, the Derby wouldn’t be the Derby without a good Mint Julep.

CINCO DE MAYO – interestingly, this holiday originated in America and it certainly doesn’t celebrate Mexican Independence (which is celebrated on September 16th). Instead, it celebrates freedom from slavery in California as a result of the Civil War. Basically, it guaranteed the Golden State would become a free state for which local Latinos devised this holiday to give thanks. Most people are not aware of this, nor do they seem to care as they pound down the cervezas (beer), margaritas, and as much Mexican cuisine as possible. People seem to particularly enjoy this holiday, even if they do not understand its purpose.

MOTHER’S DAY – In the United States, we celebrate Mother’s Day on the Second Sunday of May, as do several other countries, but not all. This is a great way to honor the mothers of the world for all their hard work and sacrifices. It’s the least we can do to show our appreciation. The only trouble is to find a restaurant to take them to for brunch, lunch or dinner, as most are crowded. If you haven’t booked your reservation by now, forget it. A picnic at a park or a barbecue is also welcome, just do not expect Mom to prepare the meal or clean up, it’s her day. Also, try to prepare a toast in advance and from the heart. Believe me, it will be appreciated.

PREAKNESS – is the second jewel of horse racing’s Triple Crown as it is held on the third Saturday in May at the Pimlico Race Course in Maryland. I am a big fan of the Triple Crown, but I have a particular attachment to the Derby as I have visited it. The Belmont Stakes in New York is the third jewel, but it is held in June.

MEMORIAL DAY – represents the starting gun of summer in the United States. More importantly, it is used to commemorate the sacrifices of the military personnel who defended American freedom. It used to be called “Decoration Day” which was used to plant flags at military graves.

GRADUATIONS – June used to be reserved for High School and college graduations, but this has changed over the years and it is now common to hold them in May, not to mention graduation parties. It is always customary to give a gift to the graduate, but I also like to add a toast if possible.

Weddings are also popular in May but perhaps more so in June. Nonetheless, the month of May usually represents an important social month. There seems to be something for everyone. Even though it represents considerable fun, it can have one drawback, it can be quite expensive, particularly in the area of gift giving.

Enjoy!

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  WHEN A TRUST IS BROKEN – What should you do? Forgive or reciprocate?

LAST TIME:  INTERPRETING “MARRIAGE”  – Why true Christians disagree with same-sex marriages.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

Posted in Social Issues | Tagged: , , , , | 9 Comments »

 
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