IT’S ME, RIGHT?
Posted by Tim Bryce on June 4, 2014
BRYCE ON POLITICS
– As Johnny Nash sang, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.”
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I had an epiphany recently. I get them every so often, particularly in our consulting business or when writing. It’s a sudden awareness of something, where the clouds part and everything somehow clicks into place. Actually, it’s a wonderful feeling, and I had another just recently.
Ever since I turned 50, I began to notice changes around me, such as in the corporate world, politics, or just day-to-day life. The world was changing and I discovered:
* 2 + 2 no longer equaled 4 (at least according to Common Core).
* What I considered right was now wrong and vice versa. This greatly influenced my moral judgement and perception of others.
* Common sense is no longer common, nor is common courtesy. I questioned our reasoning abilities, our perspectives, and our socialization skills. For example, common sense would suggest we cannot spend more than we bring in; that a declaration of bankruptcy is dishonorable; that we should save money in order to make a down payment to purchase a house. This is evidently not so anymore.
* That we are judged more by our words than our actions. Everything today must be done in accordance with political correctness.
* What is mine is evidently not, and should be given to others. I am being encouraged by the government to do less work, not more, and not to be entrepreneurial in spirit.
* That we still live in a barbaric world, particularly in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. Even though our technology has changed and our weaponry has been vastly improved, the world is still a tinderbox.
This disturbed me for quite some time. It even angered me. Then WHAM, my epiphany. Evidently I had it wrong, all wrong; that my parents had misled me, that my teachers, government and church had lied to me, and everyone was playing me for a fool. It was me, my perception of right and wrong that was distorted, not others. Why else would we celebrate bankruptcy? Why else should we not work and have the government subsidize us? Why else should we avoid responsibility?
The first thing I did was decide on a makeover. I let my beard grow scruffy, even though it is now white, and no longer bother to comb my hair. I also wear my pants down so others can enjoy my sexy underwear, and I had my nose pierced. I feel more comfortable not having to wear clean clothes anymore, but I sometimes itch.
I am now contemplating dropping out and allowing the government to pick up the check. I’m expecting a free smart phone and a truckload of groceries any day now. Unemployment tells me I have to try and get a job, but who do they think they are kidding? Oh, by the way, thanks for the drugs, even though I do not need them for medicinal purposes. I am entitled to it.
I now watch MSNBC regularly after realizing Fox News was lying to me all these years. Isn’t Rachel Maddow wonderful? She makes it clear what a great job President Obama is doing. Whereas I originally didn’t understand the humor of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, now I think they are hillarious. And I’ve even gone so far as to join the Brian Williams fan club. Thank goodness the Democratic party no longer insists on embracing God and have successfully labeled the GOP the new “Axis of Evil.” By the way, my prayer rug looks great in my foyer.
Once I admitted, “It’s me,” everything seemed to clear up and I have a new set of friends with a much higher IQ, and the press now finds my articles more acceptable. Today I hang out in a huge mansion with my friends who claim we have squatter’s rights over the person who owns it. Boy, do I love not having to pay bills anymore. I am also looking forward to voting multiple times in the next election.
I am not sure what exactly caused the epiphany. Maybe it had something to do with that packet of Kool-Aid I received in the mail.
“It’s me, right?” Say it.
Keep the Faith!
Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.
Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com
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Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.
NEXT UP: D-DAY +70 YEARS – WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER – A tribute to our Normandy vets, and a history lesson for our youth.
LAST TIME: MAN VERSUS NUMBERS – How we are losing the common touch.
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Tim Bryce said
A J.P. of Palm Harbor, Florida wrote…
“I actually said the same thing to someone the other day. I’ve always used this as a benchmark “if too many people around me seem nuts and the world seems topsy-turvy; look inward. Maybe it’s me”. The values of God, country and family seem to be held in such disdain today. Are we wrong about those values? Is it us or them?”
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Tim Bryce said
A U.V. of Largo, Florida wrote…
“That was a nightmare not an epiphany, right?”
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Carol said
ROTFL! SO true Tim! But I’m not fooled – that’s why if this great country doesn’t totally give up its values – you don’t have to be in the majority to be morally right. I’m sticking to Biblical principles and the rest of them can wallow in their delusions. Great piece!
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Tim Bryce said
A P.B. of San Diego, California wrote…
“Yeah, get me some of that stuff that you have been smoking. Oh, and hey, throw in some rose colored glasses too. I sure hope that those things will be enough to get the vision that you just had, because I still think it is them, not you.
Great satire.”
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Tim Bryce said
A B.F. of Lubbock, Texas wrote…
“So funny Tim – But maybe entirely too true..”
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Tim Bryce said
A L.W. of Largo, Florida wrote…
“Enjoyed this article. You got it right!
Everything is upside down these days.”
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Tim Bryce said
An S.F. of Milwaukee, Wisconsin wrote…
“It would appear that everyone must have their own personal rain cloud….Some have been fortunate enough to “see the light” and others are still wandering around with it pouring down on their heads. And if we ever get to the point of everyone seeing clearly, surely the enviro wackos will decide that it is responsible for drought and therefore not a good thing at all.”
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Tim Bryce said
A D.F. of New York City wrote…
“Very funny Tim. Why don’t I believe you? Oh wait, I’m a New Yawker and we’re all too cynical. It must be, well I hate to admit it but it’s not you. It’s me.”
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Ron Thompson said
D-DAY +70 YEARS – WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER
Hi Tim
I liked it’s me right I can relate to all you said I thought it was just me! D-DAY I watched the proceedings on TV in Ireland and remembered I served on one of the LCT’s that had done the beach landings of course it was some 20 years later. How long before some nut decides it never happened and attempt to rewrites history?
RonT
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