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PALMETTO BUGS

Posted by Tim Bryce on May 1, 2015

BRYCE ON LIFE

– What purpose do they serve?

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
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I don’t think I would make a very good entomologist (someone who studies insects). We have more than our share of critters down here in Florida that I could do without, including a wide variety of spiders, beetles, man-eating mosquitoes, gnats, grubs, ravenous termites, no-see-ums (which are tiny yet very annoying flies that are hard to see until they swarm around your head), and palmetto bugs, which is an endearing name we have invented in the south for “cockroaches.”

I believe our palmetto bugs are a bit different than the common cockroaches found up north. For starters, they’re a lot bigger; most adults are bigger than your thumb. This, of course, means they have copped an attitude and are not easily intimidated by humans. The young ones may scamper away when you turn the lights on, but the big ones finish their cigarettes before they arm wrestle you.

They also have a voracious appetite for just about anything, be it food, grease, spilled drinks, wax, rubber, feces, spit, you name it. I have even seen them devour the binding glue to an entire set of encyclopedias at one sitting, as well as a lot of the paper for dessert. When you live in the south, you learn to put things away properly, and quickly, otherwise the dinner bell rings and the palmetto bugs gorge themselves like they were eating watermelons.

The palmetto bug can be rather evasive to capture. First, it has a Houdini-like ability to squeeze through the smallest crack or hole to escape. Second, it can move with the speed and agility of Seabiscut to avoid being whacked by a rolled-up magazine. It will also fly if challenged, much to the bewilderment of a lot of people not familiar with their battle tactics.

Aside from birds, reptiles and fish, there are only two things the palmetto bug dislikes, sunlight and cold, which means they are on the move at nighttime and are looking for a cozy place in your house when the temperature drops. Anyone who doesn’t take effective measures to prevent their entry into a building during this time is just asking for trouble. There aren’t too many things uglier than a roach infestation.

It’s no small wonder why insect control businesses flourish down here, and why you can find so many people spraying bug juice. It is hard not to pass a pest control truck on the road during the day. They’re so busy down here that Boeing Stratotankers circle the state refueling the trucks. The people who spray “the juice” all seem to have a strange catatonic glaze on their face. They don’t say too much as they spray your house or business but there seems to be quite a bit of mumbling involved with the job.

Whether you call them palmetto bugs or cockroaches is immaterial. They’re dirty little critters who serve a questionable purpose in life. Think about it, other than being a food source for other creatures, what purpose do they serve? Maybe they’re nothing more than the bottom of the food-chain.

Originally published: 02/27/2010

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:  timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2015 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  WHY ARE COMPUTER VIRUSES STILL A PROBLEM? – Why have we been battling secrutity problems for over forty years?

LAST TIME:  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?  – Plenty, and the American public is getting tired of it.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern); WZIG-FM (104.1) in Palm Harbor,FL; and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

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5 Responses to “PALMETTO BUGS”

  1. Tim Bryce said

    A C.M. of Atlanta, Georgia wrote…

    “Today’s column simply endeared yourself more to the little bastards. Best leave your light on, turn back the bed and “mint up” that pillow because they be coming for an extended visit.”

    Like

  2. One environmental biologist friend of mine opined that, in the event of an ecological catastrophe (nuclear holocaust, comet strike…) the “Three C’s” might well survive: cockroaches, coyotes and creosote bushes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sirchristiantheheck@reagan.com said

    WOW !!! Boeing Stratocruisers ??? Hmmmmm, O K

    Like

  4. […] PALMETTO BUGS […]

    Like

  5. Tim Bryce said

    A D.L. of Pennsylvania wrote…

    “Tim- my mom always said that that is only a polite way to say cockroach- just like calling roaches – water bugs. They are not a true BUG in Hemiptera! Personally I find them disgusting- and as a biologist I have a tough time justifying their existence “

    Like

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