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MARRIAGE: IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO

Posted by Tim Bryce on August 21, 2015

BRYCE ON MARRIAGE

– Like the Tango, marriage can be a thing of beauty if you and your partner are in synch.

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
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After seeing so many marriages end in divorce, you cannot help but wonder why couples get married in the first place. Maybe they see it as some kind of legal permission slip to do nothing more than to have sex. If so, that seems to be rather shallow thinking to me. I tend to believe most people get married to quell the biological clock in their heads to reproduce. Under this scenario, husband and wife are doomed to failure after their mission has been fulfilled. There are probably dozens of reasons for getting divorced, but regardless, I think most people go into marriage with impractical expectations and hidden incompatibilities that are slow to surface.

Perhaps the biggest misconception about marriage is that it is easy; that by simply getting married all of your difficulties you experienced as a single person will somehow disappear. Hardly. If anything, your problems are only beginning as you have to learn to live with a new person unfamiliar with your customs, mannerisms, and lifestyle. I have yet to meet the couple who was perfectly compatible at the time of taking their marriage vows. Regardless of how long you may have lived with someone prior to marriage, you really don’t know the person until it becomes “legal.”

A lot of people fail to grasp that marriage is a partnership. This disturbs me greatly. With me, I have always compared it to the Tango. It involves forming a team which works together towards common goals and objectives, until we learn to dance as one. True, each person has their own unique duties and responsibilities, but to make such a partnership work, it is necessary for some give and take which some people can accept and adapt to, while others cannot. This means you cannot always do the things you did unilaterally when you were single. Now you must consider and consult your partner. Like any business venture, you must do what is best for both parties, not just one. This is the part of marriage most people do not understand. Any time one party ignores or excludes consideration for the other, the marriage is doomed.

If you have any doubt whatsoever about getting married, don’t do it. You must go into it with both eyes wide open and possess a genuine willingness to try to work together. Anything less will inevitably result in either an unhappy marriage or a nasty divorce.

So, my only advice to young people considering marriage, always be cognizant of the expression, “It takes two to Tango.” If you do it right, it can be a thing of beauty.

Originally published: June 28, 2010

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:  timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2015 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  MUSIC IN THE WORKPLACE – Using music to adjust the tempo and mood. – Using music to adjust the tempo and mood.

LAST TIME:  HILLARY CAN BE BEATEN  – She is certainly not invincible as our president has already proven. In fact, she is quite vulnerable.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern); WZIG-FM (104.1) in Palm Harbor,FL; and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

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4 Responses to “MARRIAGE: IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO”

  1. Carol said

    Unfortunately this hit very, very close to home. A relative has left his wife of over 40 years – yes – four-zero years – for another woman. And as it turns out, this is not his first rodeo. This was someone I admired. Now he us an entirely different person to me – no less his blindsided wife. It’s such a mess – and so, so sad. Marriage isn’t something you just DO – it truly is something you work at. I really liked your Tango comparison. So true and a well written explanation.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] MARRIAGE: IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO […]

    Like

  3. Tim Bryce said

    A B.H. of Boulder, Colorado wrote…

    “I married at 20 back when you had to have parental permission if you got married before 21. My father told me that everyone THINKS marriage is a 50-50 deal. It’s not, he told me. It’s really 75-25. BOTH sides GIVE 75 and TAKE 25. I told him that those numbers didn’t add up. He nodded, smiled, and simply said: “You’re right – but that’s the way marriage works.”

    He was right.”

    Like

  4. TheSeriousTruth said

    The trouble is trying to find my second half to make it happen for many of us Good Men still looking.

    Like

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