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FATHERS EAT HEELS

Posted by Tim Bryce on February 5, 2016

BRYCE ON LIFE

– and perform all the thankless jobs around the house.

(Click for AUDIO VERSION)
To use this segment in a Radio broadcast or Podcast, send TIM a request.

I was making a sandwich the other day, and as I opened a loaf of bread I observed the heel customarily unclaimed by other members of the family. I, of course, took it to build my sandwich. Only then did I stop to think how many times I had done this over the years as my family seems to have an aversion to eating the heel and, consequently, it was always earmarked for my consumption exclusively. It’s not that I relish eating the heel, I just don’t want to see it go to waste. I then started to think about the other attributes that distinguish fathers. For example:

It is the father’s job to kill spiders, bugs, and any other potential vermin frightening the household. In Florida, this includes man-eating grasshoppers, ants, armadillos, opossums, snakes, palmetto bugs (what we call cockroaches in the South), and the rare alligator that may wander by the house.

It is the father’s job to take out the trash, not just the regular kitchen garbage but virtually anything that can be shoved into, on top of, or next to a trash can. This includes items from the attic, bio-hazardous material stored in the garage, and anything that can be hacked off on the property. When the receptacles are full, it is the father’s job to somehow transport it to a dumping station, usually in the cleanest car available.

It is the father’s job to mow the lawn. More than mere mowing, this includes edging, hedging, pruning, sodding, raking, fertilizing, and blowing debris off the property. Hopefully the father is assisted by his offspring, but most find it an imposition for the child and therefore pays for Mexican laborers to perform the task instead.

It is the father’s job to change the oil and wash the car. I don’t mean running down to a car wash or quick-lube either. Every father should know how to use a hose and bucket of suds, not to mention wax. Further, they should be able to change the oil, miss the pan, and cleanup the slop spilled on the driveway. Hopefully the father is assisted by his offspring, but most find it an imposition for the child and therefore pays for Mexican laborers to perform the task instead.

It is the father’s job to eat leftovers and anything else the family refuses to consume. This distorts his palate which explains why fathers have a passion for such things as lima beans, Brussels sprouts, artichoke hearts, rutabaga, lamb shanks, liver and onions, black eyed peas and collard greens, grits, tapioca pudding, Rhubarb Pie, and Bosco.

It is the father’s job to help the children with their homework when they hit a problem. It is also his job to look as helplessly puzzled when he doesn’t know the answer (or understand the question).

It is the father’s job to make simple house repairs, such as changing the garbage disposal, fixing the toilet, repairing the door bell, or electrocuting himself when he should have called an electrician.

It is the father’s job to be the computer technician of the house, to hook up wires and strings, to buy and replace printer cartridges, and to curse Microsoft.

It is the father’s job to take the blame for whatever goes wrong, large or small, regardless if he is at fault or not, pick up the pieces and try to mend things.

It’s not easy being a father. We get all the dirty little jobs to do, and the leftovers to eat. We only ask for a little love and attention in return.

Just remember, fathers eat heels.

Originally published: December 16, 2010

Also published with News Talk Florida.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:   timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2016 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  MOVING UP TOO FAST – What happens when you do not pay your dues.

LAST TIME:  FINDING THE TIME AS MANAGER  – Embrace your workers, do not avoid them.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern); WZIG-FM (104.1) in Palm Harbor,FL; KIT-AM (1280) in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific); and WWBA-AM (News Talk Florida 820). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

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4 Responses to “FATHERS EAT HEELS”

  1. Pam McAloon said

    Some of those “Father jobs” were unisexual in our household, ie. toilet repairs and killing varmints … LOL!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tim Bryce said

    A B.H. of Boulder, Colorado wrote…

    “This one caused me to stop and think a bit. Not necessarily about whether my son-in-law as a father does them (he doesn’t do them all), whether I did them (most of them anyway), or whether my dad did them (most of them anyway). Actually, I pondered whether or not fathers pass on this “tendency” to their sons – without really knowing it.

    My dad worked so much in his life to support the family. He would routinely get up at 5 in the morning, take care of all the sundry personal things, fix breakfast, get dressed, ride the bus to work, and when he came home at 5:30 or 6, he’d walk into the house, take off his coat, sit in the recliner and literally fall asleep in about 10 seconds. When dinner was ready, all we had to do was get near him and say in a normal voice “dad, dinner’s ready” and he was instantly awake and came in for dinner. After dinner, he’d retreat to the garage where he had a shop built to do more work (he probably did as much work at home as he did for the jewelry store that he worked in, because he worked at home 7 days a week, and only 5 for the store.”

    Like

  3. Tim Bryce said

    A C.D. of Norfolk, Virginia wrote…

    “Can’t dispute a single word. Now hand me half that heel sandwich, Brother.”

    Like

  4. […] FATHERS EAT HEELS […]

    Like

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