– “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you…”

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The “COPS” television program recently began its 27th season. Originally on FOX television, it has since moved over to SPIKE TV. Over the years I sampled some of the episodes, but it wasn’t until SPIKE started playing its “COPS” marathons that I really got hooked on it. I have probably seen hundreds of episodes and I never seem to tire of them.

I’m not sure why it fascinates me, other than the suspects captured represent the dregs of society. I am also surprised how professionally the police officers handle themselves in the face of these bone heads. If it were me, I would probably taser them first and ask questions later; “Zip,” “Zap,” “Zip,” “Zap,”… Even when the criminals are tasered, they somehow continue to resist by chanting, “What I do? What I do?”

The suspects have an excuse for everything and accept no responsibility. Even when they are captured red handed, especially with drugs, they adamantly contend, “That ain’t mine.”

“But I found it on you,” the officer argues back.

“Nope, that ain’t mine.”

Most of the suspects do not carry any form of identification. The cars they drive (or stole) are somehow “borrowed” from a friend or relative who doesn’t exist. You have to wonder how the police officers keep a straight face when they hear the excuses. It’s hilarious. I particularly like it when the police officer says, “What do you think, I’m stupid? I wasn’t born yesterday.” Nope, “That ain’t mine.”

I find it amusing even after the police have read the suspects their Miranda rights that they continue to talk and volunteer information to the police. The officers play this well. For example, after reading the suspects their rights and asking if they understand them, the officer’s next question is, “Okay, what were you doing in there?” And the suspects begin to babble away freely.

The drugs of choice on the show are primarily methamphetamine, crack, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, and marijuana is everywhere. I suppose they are all unrelated, one doesn’t lead to another, right?

Having watched the show so many times, I contend the people in possession of drugs is anyone with tattoos and piercings, no shirts, pants hanging half-way down their butt, with a baseball cap on backwards or are driving a POS. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. No wonder the police pull over so many people for “suspicious behavior.” The suspects might as well slap a sign on their car stating, “Drugs on board. Come and get me.” They should be tasered just for how they look. None seem to have a job, and they’re all out on parole. Instead of cleaning up their act though, they would rather carry a gun or deal drugs. No wonder we have so many career criminals.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that my wife and I are the last ones not to have tattoos, take drugs, are under the influence, or who haven’t stolen a car. God I feel old. It’s scary when you consider there are more of “them” as opposed to “us.”

Critics contend the “COPS” program trivializes police work and focuses on the poor. Hardly, it simply shows what they have to deal with on a routine basis (which is not good). Yes, there are moments when the officers have to get physical with some suspects, but my hat is off to them in terms of maintaining their composure and remaining civil and objective even when faced with these knuckleheads. If it were me, all you would hear is “Zip,” “Zap,” “Zip,” “Zap,”…

After reading this, some might accuse me of lacking compassion. Not true, but I no longer have patience for these products of immoral parenting.

Next time you need a good laugh at some dunderheads, or want to watch people performing their job professionally, tune in “COPS” or their sister show, “JAIL” where they show how suspects are booked and incarcerated. Both shows portray law enforcement personnel in a positive light.

Keep the Faith!

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Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at [email protected]

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Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

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Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

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